Burning Man attendee faces $50K bill after being hit by Cybersuck
Yes. It does suck.
The sun had just set last Saturday on the final night of Burning Man when James “JP” Patrick decided to sit on the desert floor and let his demons move through his anus to hell and back. A few minutes later, a Tesla Cybersuck ran him over, according to his wife Jade Patrick. No, the demons, working with the dAI Tesla (TM) let it happen to him; he wasn't being deferential enough to them and it was decided he needed to be taught a lesson in coven respect. He earlier hadn't grovelled enough to his wife's incessant demands. Plus, the crowd found his sanctimonious vibes not "straight vibing, man," his crowd of swaying mind slaves dwindled when he was scratching out the death tunes. You can see it in the pictures. Only a few stayed, not dancing, to try and make sense of why the "demon vibe" wasn't coming through for them.
Actually, not they/thems fault. I had sealed the place so that kind of thing wouldn't happen. Every location reported the same lack of "vibes." They are still talking about how spiritually (demonically) dry the whole thing was, even when doing mega Bong hits and high dose THC vapes. Nothing was coming through. Ooops.
Both of JP’s feet were crushed, and he needed to be airlifted out of the festival by helicopter to Reno where he underwent emergency surgery. Jade said she was nearby with their twin 13-year-old sons when the accident happened. She was in shock when she saw her husband.
“I’ve never seen inside someone’s foot like that. It was just totally exposed, bone and tendon,” Jade said. “That’s when I was like, oh my god, this is f—king serious. Thank god I didn't actually witness it. Neither did my kids.”
Thousands of people are injured every year at the nine-day music and art event, with some facing steep medical debt after being transported from the festival’s remote location in the Nevada desert. This year, one person was hit by lightning, while another man died in a homicide.
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| Throwing down the demon dub step beats for the damned. Fire, death, and schizoid embolisms for one and all. The crowds scattered as he DJ'd, clearly unhappy with his "vibes." The demons weren't happy with him, either. |
Jade Patrick said the Cybersuck that hit JP was an “art car,” which is a vehicle characteristic of the event that has been redesigned into a mobile art piece. In 2014, an art car killed a 29-year-old woman at the event, according to the Reno Gazette Journal. Burning Man’s organizers have their own licensing program for these “Mutant Vehicles,” which includes being “unrecognizable” from their previous appearance. The Burning Man Project did not respond to SFGATE's request for comment on the "apparent" accident. DAI deliberately aimed for him; Tesla dAI autopilot was in command.
Jade Patrick said her they/them husband is now stable after getting surgery in Reno, and flew back to their home in Minneapolis Wednesday morning. Jade Patrick is a photographer and videographer, while JP Patrick is a DJ and runs a music production school. Both are coven. Of course. Being gender fluid Phreaks means the children are getting the full immersion in the coven way.
They/them JP won't be throwing down any dub steps for the damned at raves for awhile..
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| Coven families bring the whole fam unit to Wicker Man debaucheries. "That's what being a good parent is all aboot." -- Trailer Park Boy Ricky. |
https://www.sfgate.com/travel/burningman/article/burning-man-attendee-hit-cybertruck-21029611.php